Let me tell you a secret. Setting goals you think you should achieve in the new year is setting yourself up to fail. Not only does it require enormous energy to design and willpower to get started, but deciding to be something you’re not-- over and over again for an entire year-- creates decision fatigue. It’s exhausting. 

When you map your new year to “shoulds,” you also run the risk of creating habits that are out of line with your true values. This leads to failure. Does this sound familiar: You set the same goal over and over, each year, thinking this time I’ll do it? But it just doesn’t stick. Or maybe you push through and achieve that goal, but you still feel discontent. When your actions and your core values are out of synch, life will call you out.  Trust me, you won’t feel successful until your goals, habits, and behaviors line up with your actual values.  

By setting goals you really want to achieve, you’re so much more likely to succeed! You’ll be so excited to get started that you won’t wait for tomorrow, Monday, or January 1. A great goal changes present behavior. You will start today. 

When you start planning goals for the new year, here are some questions to help you choose meaningful goals that you will be excited to start right away. 

1. What would be RADICAL for you this year?  I’ll give you an example.  A few years ago, I dreamed about paying off my student loans and saving a lot of money. I thought it would be great for my family and give me confidence in the next phase of my career. But I didn’t think I could do it. I had developed a narrative that I'm not good with money, I’m not a saver, I hate using Excel spreadsheets, and I don’t know anything about investing. I had a hardened money story that was standing in my way of achieving my goals. It would be RADICAL for me to call myself out, bust open that story and write a new one, and pay off my loans. So I did it. In 2018 I educated myself on money management and investing, I set up new budgets for my family, changed my spending habits, and paid off all of my student loans. I did it in less than a year.  Big change and big results. It felt truly amazing. (By the way, for women readers in particular if this resonates with you, please read Worth It by Amanda Steinberg.)  

2. What is your priority in this season of life? (Are there things you can let go of for now?) It’s important to be honest and realistic about where we are in life and how that shapes our priorities. You might know in this season that your career is growing and you want to prioritize that. Or maybe you’re newly married and want to focus on your relationship. If you’ve just moved to a new city, building community and friendships could top the list. A new baby could remind you that your health and good sleep is number one. Think about where you are right now and what you need most. You might have to let go of some other things for a time. That’s OK. Name your number one for right now.  

3. What do you really enjoy doing? (What can you stop doing to make time for these things?) I recommend journaling on this topic because you’ll be so surprised at what you find. Spend a few minutes writing about what you really love to do. It could be big stuff—speaking at a major event gives you a thrill—or little stuff—like sitting on your porch every morning with a cup of coffee to watch the sunrise. Write down what you love to do and commit to doing more of it. You’ll be ready to start looking for ways to get rid of other things and make space for the good stuff.

4. What habits do you want to start to feel amazing? Visualize and describe how you would feel if you did these things. Don’t put your journal away yet. Great habits, especially physical and mental health habits, can be built when we focus on how we feel rather than some objective result. Noticing how rested you feel after 8 hours of sleep can help motivate you to put away the phone and go to bed earlier the next night. Or do you feel great after a run but have trouble making the time? Set your goal to FEEL that way every day. When you visualize and describe the clear-headed, endorphined stress relief, you’ll be more motivated to put on your running shoes.  Maybe you know that dairy makes you feel bad, so focus on how great you would feel by avoiding it. Commit to that feeling as you make choices at mealtimes. Brainstorm a few habits that would help you feel great, and try adding just one or two in the next few months. You’ll be ready to do more as you find success and start feeling amazing. 

5. What goals would help you live closer to your values? Here’s another example. If a core value in your life is adventure, then consider what actions in 2020 would help you live a more adventurous life. Consider planning a big trip you’ve always wanted to take, trying something new each month, or making some new friends to broaden your horizons.  If you value money and security, plan a debt snowball or increase your retirement savings this year.  Choose a goal that will feel meaningful at the deepest level. 

6. What have you always wanted to do? Take (at least) a small step this year. Do you dream of being a jazz musician? Do some research on music lessons near your home or work. Download some Coltrane on your phone. Explore a music store and identify your favorite instrument.  Buy tickets to a local concert or join a jazz club.  Chances are, you know the thing, you just couldn’t imagine taking the plunge. You don’t have to. Just take a small step forward.

Friends, choose what you love in the new year and the success will follow.  I am cheering for you!