How to set goals in times of uncertainty

As I’m writing we are still in the midst of the COVID-19 pandemic.  The first wave of infection is behind us, and another wave has arrived in the wake of economic reopening.  School schedules are uncertain, traditional office work spaces are still closed, and we are treading water at home.  For high achievers, not being able to plan for the long haul is extremely challenging.  It’s harder now for many of us than the initial crisis—we can handle an emergency, but long-term displacement from our plans is unnerving.  Our goals feel slippery and measurable success feels out of reach.  

It’s not all bad—I think many of us feel more in tune with what really matters; some of us love working at home.  As a culture we are growing confidence in adaptability, and we are showing up in more authentic ways.  Uncertain times can challenge us to grow into something better, to become something new.  We become more introspective, selfish in some ways, so that we can survive the situation.  What happens afterwards is miraculous. 

My wise friend and coach Itir Keskiner reminds her clients that transformation happens when we are still, withdrawn, removed from external influence.  The caterpillar in her chrysalis.  In order to transform we have to stop the noise, stop the input, stop the frantic activity.  We are working hard to handle the pandemic but there has been a “pause” from some external influences.  And the opportunity to grow. 

If you’re going to set goals, it’s going to look a heck of a lot different.  But they will be even more powerful as you separate from the external and distill your goals down to factors you can control, values that matter to you, and energy that you can create. 

Be comforted:  No one can mess this up for you.  No event can throw you off course.  You won’t even need your calendar.  

I’m going to call this setting goals from the inside out.   Here’s how to do it. 

First, forget outcome-based goals. 

You simply can’t control the variables.  Your sales numbers, your trips, your specific plans.  Your calendar.  You can’t control it.  To the extent you can, let go of any performance or metric for now.  

Instead, focus on identifying your values.

Pay attention to how they show up in your life, and how it makes you feel when can engage with those values.  How you want to FEEL instead of what exactly what you want to do or where you will be.  If you have never spent time considering your core values, begin that process for yourself.  Use your journal, online tools, or help from a coach to distill the non-negotiables in your life:  freedom, security, health, peace, justice, love, affection, adventure, simplicity, whatever it is for you.  You should only have a few and they should ring true down to the pit of your belly:  I can’t live without this.  It’s OK if you can’t find the perfect words at first.  You’ll gain clarity as you write about it and experiment with these ideas in practice.

Develop routines and rituals to help you move toward those values in tiny steps.

This practice will align your compass by degree to the things you care about.  This is especially important while we are at home. Think about bite-sized action steps. For example, if creativity is something you value, what tiny thing can you do each day to check in with that value?  Maybe it’s writing in your journal for 10 minutes each morning, picking up your colored pencils, or signing up for a class.  If it’s health, maybe a consistent bedtime, morning yoga stretches, or drinking more water will help you get there.  Write down your simple, values-based routines.  If there are other tiny things that you love (like enjoying a warm cup of coffee on the deck in the morning), include those in your list without judgment.  (The things we love usually reflect our values even if we can’t name them.)

Next, put your routines on auto-pilot. 

You’ll use less effort and know you are making progress without even thinking about it.  Saving your energy, of course, for this big dreams.  Block time in your work calendar, set reminders on your phone, and set out all the items you will need for each new routine.  Build your day around it, no matter how silly it seems.  You’re building an internal structure for progress when everything else has been taken away.  Make no apologies.  Notice that putting things on auto-pilot means scheduling the practice; it doesn’t mean losing your presence or mindfulness in the activity.

Keep refining and practicing your new habits. 

Each day is a fresh start, there is no failure, it’s all building something brick by brick.  You are practicing.  You are moving forward inch by inch—or exponentially.  Track your progress in a way that feels comfortable to you.  Adjust your goals when they don’t feel right.  Remember to reflect on the good things and the progress you make, noticing and feeling grateful as you go.  

You can right-size this process for wherever you are in this season.  Lots of time and space at home?  Add more routines and rituals you care about.  Feeling stretched and low energy?  Do just a couple each day to show yourself some love.  Overwhelmed with work and childcare?  The routines and rituals will give you structure and support to keep moving forward. 

Don’t give up on your long-term vision.  It’s more important than ever.

If you have never done this exercise, try casting a vision for the best possible version of yourself in 10 years.  Picture how you feel, how you spend your time, the state of your health and relationships.  Imagine what you are wearing, your living space, your We are dreaming here so you’re not limited by the realities of covid or anything else.  It’s your best future.  What do you see?  How are your values embodied in that future?  Does it make you question or bolster your sense of what matters now?  Keep that vision in your mind and go to work.  What can you start today that serves that vision?

Finally, look for natural goals.

You may find that as you practice these routines you’ll gain some momentum to set goals that extend naturally from your daily practices.  Maybe mastering a new yoga pose becomes a goal from your morning stretches.  Maybe building a digital portfolio from your daily sketches.  Maybe starting a new business from the virtual connections you’ve made in weekly chats on Zoom.  Embrace those goals as they come to you. 

You won’t have started with the end in mind; you’ll be starting with what matters to you.  And success will be on your terms and within your grasp.

For once, you’re setting goals from the inside out.  

To read more on setting goals that matter to you, check out my earlier blog posts on meaningful goals and pitfalls.