Make your life easier
What does self-care really mean? I think the term conjures images of bubble baths, pedicures, and spa appointments. Maybe a cup of tea. But living in a mode of care, compassion, and adaptability is a critical way we can restore ourselves on a daily basis. In other words, being willing and able to change our plans for our own well-being.
During Covid, this has required a great deal of flexibility at a very high level. We’ve abandoned all sorts of plans that were no longer available to us. Many of us lost a lifestyle, a routine, and even safety that we previously took for granted. There is grief that comes with that. But we also have to be willing to let it go, and look with fresh eyes at what’s before us. Reassess our capacity, our needs, our resources, our options right here today. Let go of what was supposed to happen or what could have been. Allow yourself to stop churning and move forward.
I like to think of this in very simple terms: make your life easier. In my self-care ebook and workshops, I ask the question, what’s one simple thing you can do today to make your life easier? Sometimes we brainstorm a few ideas, but I think women are reluctant to abandon an obligation, reliniquish control. We’re also bashful to admit that we are holding on so tightly to expectations that are sometimes strangely specific and impossible to meet. That feeling is exactly the reason why we should do it, together. We all feel that way. We all have impossible standards. It causes us a lot of struggle and a lot of guilt when we fall short. The solution? Together, with compassion, we choose just one for today. And let it go.
To help bring this idea to life, I challenged myself to post a series on Instagram over 7 days. 7 days, 7 ways to make life easier.
Here’s a summary of the steps I shared:
Make the switch. For us, it was trash. Literally. We switched services so our trash collector was no longer picking up in the middle of the night—waking us up every single week. We made two phone calls, and we got some sleep back.
A cleaner house. We have paid women to clean our house for years, on a biweekly schedule. Now we are bumping up to every week. A visible reset in a clean house. It doesn’t last long with kids, but in this season, that weekly relief is worth it for our household.
Phone it in for dinner. Sometimes dinner plans go awry because of a missing ingredient, an errant Instacart delivery, or a schedule change. I love a meal plan, but sometimes it just doesn’t work out. Takeout, frozen pizza, fancy picnic, breakfast for dinner, it’s all fine. No apologies needed.
Finish a task/abandon a project. For me, this means taking the extra 45 seconds to complete a small task instead of leaving it half-done. (Cleaning the blender right after I use it!) Small things left unresolved can leave us feeling hanging all day. But if the task isn’t important or the project is no longer relevant at all, then just let it go. Abandon it. Remove it from your to-do list completely. You are free.
Accept the help. You’ve heard to advice to “ask for help,” especially as a mom. But the crucial step is to accept it when it’s offered. You don’t have to wait for an emergency to accept help. It’s here in abundance. Say yes.
Mess it up. Use the good stuff, write in your prettiest journal, paint a wall, saw down your kitchen island (like we did!). Try something and see what happens. Don’t let your life be so precious that you aren’t living it.
Back off. In many things, but especially as a parent. Give them space. Give yourself space. Sometimes good things happen when we stop trying so hard.
You have permission to live with more ease and less guilt. It starts with one simple letting-go step. What can you let go of today? What’s one simple thing you can do to make your life easier?
Give yourself that gift. I’m cheering for you!