Who's your hero?
Who's your hero? I've always hated this question. If you don't have a good answer, it feels like you're not ambitious enough, or not humble enough, or not culturally sensitive enough, or not historically knowledgeable. Not ENOUGH. I once worked for someone who asked this question in interviews (including mine). The right answer for him, of course, was Jackie Robinson or your mom (more specifically, his mom). But it always rubbed me the wrong way.
Whis is this question so flawed? Because people are flawed. We all are. And to me it's not even that helpful. Putting someone else on a pedastal doesn't help you put pen to paper or put your running shoes on in the morning. It might even make you feel worse by comparison. It might make doing better feel out of reach. Someone else's life is entirely different than mine. Or, why should I even try?
But a hero to you might be someone who inspires you because she accomplished great things and displayed tremendous courage in living out their values--assuming those values align with yours. A hero might inspire you then to do the same. Or he might challenge the status quo to make room for what you also believe. Heroes are typified by bravery. What's unique then, what's valuable to you, are the values and the courage. What matters is knowing your values and having the courage to strive for them, even if you fall short. Because you will.
We learn from our heroes that we can fail, over and over, before we succeed. Persistence, determination, courage, these are nearly universal qualities we look for in applying our values. (For some people these modes of application are so important that they might be on your list of core values.)
Of course having an emblematic story with a face is-- by human nature-- helpful to personify our values, motivate progress, and instruct us in life. Seeing yourself in the past helps to visualize where you want to go, which is why inclusive conversations about history can be so vital to progressive culture. The same is true of diverse representation in the media. Our heroes can reflect us, challenge us, remind us, and make room for us. But what's ultimately more important than what we see, who we idolize, is what we decide is true about ourselves.
What are your values? It's a harder question than plucking someone out of history because there is no right answer. Because you might still be in the midst of failure and not on the other side of success. You're afraid to call out your values if you don't yet feel successful in embodying them. Don't wait for success or for the slow tumble of history to be your own hero. You can start today.
This doesn't mean you have to be entirely focused on yourself, or that we don't have anything to learn from each other. Quite the opposite. Recognizing and celebrating admirable qualities in each other is critically important for connection, growth, justice, and a healthy cultural eco-system. We should look for opportunities to celebrate, encourage, challenge, and engage one in another as we work in parallel to be our best.
So who's your hero? I'd replace this tired question. Instead I'll ask you, with imperfect grammar,
Who have you learned from this year?
Who are you grateful for?
Who would you like to have dinner with?
Who do you love, respect, admire?
Who challenges you?
Who inspires you?
Who do you want to be?
What are your values?
My friends, if we stick together, we can be our own heroes, learn from one another, and celebrate our progress side by side. And let's not forget to make room for flawed humans like us whom we want to inspire. I'm cheering for you!